from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
