What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Send help, water and tortillas.
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