The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize