Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
someone owes me an orgasm
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
