your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
