Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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