dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
