My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
