Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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