I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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