Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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