Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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