Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
