You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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