he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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