The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
