My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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