Don't you send me to vm
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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