dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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