those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
