C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
