so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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