don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize