she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
