She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
grandma shit on top of the toilet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
