wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
