I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
