shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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