I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
