if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
