Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize