I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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