There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize