ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
