i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
