Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
