I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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