Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize