We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
