This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
