ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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