I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
