and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
