you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
