He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
