All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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