I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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