I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
