guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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