you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
