Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
