so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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