I'm going to rape someone's good day.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
