ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
