At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
