Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
