Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize