Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
