He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize