were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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