I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
