He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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