If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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